One Thousand Years
Genesage
“Jesus"
(Chp 8:11)
He stiffened. Silence. Darkness.
Suddenly Thomas felt odd. He saw as though with different eyes. The scene was a little fuzzy, a little blurry. He tried to focus, he couldn't, but he felt warm, incredibly warm and secure.
He was looking up into a young girls face.
Her eyes were enormous full of color, moist. She was beautiful, gentle. How he knew he just knew that this was his mother yet it wasn't. Everything seemed a little fuzzy, a little unclear, even his thinking process.
He saw Joseph and Mary looking at him.
They were full of love. The stared down at him full of wonder. He was bathed in beauty and adoration of the love flowing from them. All around him he felt the blanketing warmth of their attention.
The peace, the joy, the comfort, the powerful emote from their eyes, their soul, and their heart. Completely enveloping he felt …secure in that …love.
Thomas knew he had never felt anything like this.
Nothing in his life had been like this.
Nothing he had ever imagined had prepared him for the intensity of this feeling.
It was too much, yet it went on. Twenty fours a day, seven days a week, monthly, yearly, the love was there. They never failed to love. They were always there for Him. Always caring, about Him. The security, the feelings, the thoughts, all of Jesus was Thomas. He felt beyond feeling; he experienced it all.
Thomas living the life of Jesus.
It humbled any thought he had about the person of the Messiah. It made him real. He now realized the fact of the Son of Man in his humanity. He, Thomas, now wore that humanity as a clothing to live the Life he led in the days of ManKind.
Nothing was abridged, nothing left out.
It was exhaustive but it was a whole life, a holy life.
And Thomas was there.
Thomas realized He was reliving the Life of Jesus.
He was struck numb and dumb. His tiny fingers clasping Mary's fingers wrapped around but one of hers, was his. Inhaling, breathing in the air as his tiny lungs expanded, contracted, they were his. He could smell the stall straw, the air musk of animals.
He could feel every detail, sense every emotion. He felt the thoughts of the animals as sensing beyond words a "being" in the very animals that was so unlike him yet they too emoted feelings.
Thomas did not control or change the events he experienced.
He was in every moment. In the "Now" of it. But being a participant as a dichotomous point of view. He saw every scene, experienced every word. He thought as Jesus had thought. He lived them perfectly as Jesus had.
Thomas lived the perfect life God intended for every man to have.
Only the Son of Man lived. He was living it all in a matter of seconds. A full life as though time outside had stopped. Thomas now had a perfect life. Thomas now felt the perfection of completeness. He could experience the dedication, the accomplishments, the success.
He felt, knowing God as none other. Sensing a Father he could not describe the spectrum complete of emote the union of Father and Son. As for Thomas his senses only extended so far to all those emotions extending beyond the scope of his reason.
Outside the box of humanity's mind. Beyond the pale, beyond the inability of man to ascribe, describe, project or dissect. It was God, and it was all in all.
All that he was mindful of in every fiber of his being, amazing to himself it was attuned to the need of ManKind and the Will of the Father in Heaven.
Nothing so pervasive ever consumed him as did the Son of Man in Messiah as he felt this drive.
The missing years were now lived.
As if they were ever missing in the first place. The childhood of the Son of God Thomas felt. He couldn't breathe, yet he felt it all. He couldn't blink , He saw it all. He hardly could believe it, yet He heard it all.
Nothing was left out of the Son of Man on Earth. Such a life filled him with wonder as he experienced the growth of Jesus of Nazareth as a boy. Not unlike his own childhood, yet thoughts were far simpler, uncluttered, more focused than his had been.
Thomas had been a first born child,
Jesus was First Born of many more to become like Him.
Private thoughts things only Jesus would have thought to Jesus were open to him.
It was remarkable to Thomas how perfect a life could be lived. It amazed again Thomas the thoughts Jesus had. Thinking like Jesus, as Jesus, with Jesus; so focused, so human, so divine.
Remarkable was the fact that it wasn't cluttered or confused, almost matter of fact, direct.
His great love in his relationship to his brothers and his sisters Thomas felt such a bond between them he was humbled by its majesty. Magnanimous was not enough. The complete unity the family felt. How Joseph their Father so wise had prepared, training the family to be the crèche where the Son of Man would be all too human.
Even the actual thoughts were there as Jesus formulated his mind.
His thoughts through actions in an imperfect world were all there. What he thought in an extremely inopportune time, the worst of bad timing, yet all thoughts appropriate. The baptism, the temple, the journey to Egypt, the death of Joseph, the marriage of his sister in Cana, the gospels relived.
Thomas saw the Fact of the Truth of the Word made flesh, come to Earth.
This was the fulfillment of the Son of God. He who dwelt among us and we beheld…, and oh how Thomas now beheld him.
This was a man Thomas would want to know. This was a person Thomas would care to follow. This was the life Thomas would want to live. This was the God Thomas would choose to serve.
More than an epiphany or a Scrooge like visit from the ghost of Christmas past, Thomas was healing as he felt it, saw it, experienced it, knew it, the Life the Son of God lived. The life laid down for the very man that was reliving it.
Thomas becoming one with Jesus.
Thomas didn't see the faite Accompli, or the heroic choice of dying to save thousands or millions as some vague esoteric relevant action to sacrifice one that more should be saved.
No not like a man leaping on a grenade or dying to save others, no.
This was very real even obvious to him now. The knowledge that the Son of God being able to look at just one man, just one person, just one soul just one spirit, saying to such a one.
"I die for you."
Even if
just such a one as Thomas
"I die for you."
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