What areas of conflict are you delaying resolution? (94-3) ~ Barry Werner



What areas of conflict are you delaying resolution? (94-3)

Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Read 2 Samuel 14 and 15.

Absalom, King David’s son, knew Amnon, his half brother, had raped his sister Tamar, yet he failed to confront Amnon directly. Instead Absalom harbored his anger for two years before finally arranging the murder of Amnon (2 Samuel 13).

King David also shirked his responsibility to settle the conflict in his family when he failed to discipline Amnon, then compounded the problem by banishing his son Absalom to another country for the murder of Amnon. Later, when David relented and allowed Absalom to return to Jerusalem, he refused to talk to him for another two years. When Absalom finally forced the issue and David gave his son an audience, it was too late and Absalom became embittered and resolved to take the kingdom from his father.

Both Absalom’s and David’s conflict avoidance strategy not only failed to work but eventually escalated into open conflict that ended in another of David’s son’s death. Had either or both dealt promptly with the issues surrounding the rape in the palace both Amnon and Absalom’s death may have been avoided.

The key to conflict management is prompt reconciliation by “speaking the truth in love.” Leaders that are effective conflict managers balance the truth (confrontation) and love (reconciliation). Effective leaders learn to be peacemakers by dealing directly with disagreements and seeking amicable resolutions. The actions of Absalom and David only serve to prove that putting off confrontation strains relations and inevitably compounds the problem.

What areas of actual or potential conflict are you delaying giving your attention? Determine to start now with the goal of reconciliation. Seek God’s wisdom before taking your first step and then set a time to make your first step to resolve the issue.

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