Right relationships ~ Bob Caldwell

Relationships That Work Proverbs 17:1-18:24 17:6 Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father. 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD. A dominant theme in these two chapters highlights the many facets of our relationship with one another. One of the most revealing methods possible to determine the quality of our lives is to do so by honestly looking at the quality of our relationships. Solomon lays out for us indisputable truths that make for either good or bad relationships with one another. These truths, when applied to our daily lives, will lead to a life enriched beyond what many of us can imagine. Solomon begins his wisdom in relationships by describing the surest way to be of a leader among others. We are not to seek, depend upon, or strive for position. Instead, we are to strive for wisdom. It is wisdom, not us, that can lead best. Wisdom can place a servant in leadership over a prince. How often have we seen those who only seek power find themselves powerless to lead once they get a position of power? Having no wisdom, such leaders will soon be despised. Those who have had a rich, full life are warned to value all people. The poor should see the prosperous as a kind and understanding friend, not one who arrogantly makes them the butt of jokes! A person rich in relationships will never gloat, nor take vengeful joy in the tragedies that may fall upon an enemy. The same holds true for those who in our lives have fallen into sin. Such a person should find us as a friend, one who will cover them in love. We should find no pleasure in shaming others but in restoring others back to God and one another. When it comes to our families, those who value family above other human relationships are the richest of all. Lastly, we see that successful relationships require a lot of work. We need to listen to others before we give advice on anything. We need to be sensitive so as not to offend a brother. Good relationships will require that we do not isolate ourselves. Instead, we seek to become a good friend to another before we expect a friend in return. Good relationships are a lot of hard work, but the benefits are so enriching that it will prove to be a very small price to pay. Conversely, bad relationships will in the end be a lot of hard work as well. Resentment, isolation, and endless drama will take its toll on our lives. And one day, when old age and a near grave are all we have left, the poverty of poor relationships with our families, friends, and even our enemies will make the richest man on Earth feel like a beggar.
Proverbs 17:1-18:24 Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feastingwith strife. 2 A wise servant will rule over a son who causes shame, And will share an inheritance among the brothers. 3 The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests the hearts. 4 An evildoer gives heed to false lips; A liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue. 5 He who mocks the poor reproaches his Maker; He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. 6 Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father. 7 Excellent speech is not becoming to a fool, Much less lying lips to a prince. 8 A present is a precious stone in the eyes of its possessor; Wherever he turns, he prospers. 9 He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends. 10 Rebuke is more effective for a wise man Than a hundred blows on a fool. 11 An evil man seeks only rebellion; Therefore a cruel messenger will be sent against him. 12 Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, Rather than a fool in his folly. 13 Whoever rewards evil for good, Evil will not depart from his house. 14 The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts. 15 He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, Both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD. 16 Why is there in the hand of a fool the purchase price of wisdom, Since he has no heart for it? 17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity. 18 A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge, And becomes surety for his friend. 19 He who loves transgression loves strife, And he who exalts his gate seeks destruction. 20 He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, And he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil. 21 He who begets a scoffer does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy. 22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. 23 A wicked man accepts a bribe behind the back To pervert the ways of justice. 24 Wisdom is in the sight of him who has understanding, But the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth. 25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, And bitterness to her who bore him. 26 Also, to punish the righteous is not good, Nor to strike princes for their uprightness. 27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. 28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive. Proverbs 18 1 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment. 2 A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart. 3 When the wicked comes, contempt comes also; And with dishonor comes reproach. 4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook. 5 It is not good to show partiality to the wicked, Or to overthrow the righteous in judgment. 6 A fool’s lips enter into contention, And his mouth calls for blows. 7 A fool’s mouth is his destruction, And his lips are the snare of his soul. 8 The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body. 9 He who is slothful in his work Is a brother to him who is a great destroyer. 10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe. 11 The rich man’s wealth is his strong city, And like a high wall in his own esteem. 12 Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility. 13 He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him. 14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit? 15 The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. 16 A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men. 17 The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him. 18 Casting lots causes contentions to cease, And keeps the mighty apart. 19 A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle. 20 A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. 21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD. 23 The poor man uses entreaties, But the rich answers roughly. 24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 17:1-18:24 v. 1 a dry morsel – is figurative of a small meal. This morsel is contrasted with a house that has plentiful provisions. Solomon points out that the most satisfying meals are sometimes found in the poorest homes. The point of this verse is that wealth and abundance do not equal a satisfying life. Peace and contentment are more important than material possessions. v. 3 the LORD tests the hearts – The refiner’s fining pot and furnace tests his metals, God alone can test a human heart. He knows our thoughts, emotions and desires. Like a goldsmith purifying gold, God will often refine a person though trials in order to purify their heart. v. 6 Children’s children are the crown of old men – Children are a blessing from God (Ps. 127, 128). This blessing is the “crown” of an aging grandparent. The cohesion of family members is a basic theme of the Old Testament. v. 7 Excellent speech – Excellent speech reveals an upright heart and lying lips reveals the heart of a fool. It has been said that out of the abundance of the heart a man speaks. Whatever one talks about is a reflection of their heart. v. 14 The beginning of strife is the releasing of water – This can be compared to leaking water at a dam shortly before the reservoir breaks opens and water comes bursting out. v. 19 he who exalts his gate seek destruction – This is a reference to those who sought a life-style beyond their means. They attempted to transform their simple home into a luxurious house by constructing an expensive gate at the front of their property. v. 23 To pervert the ways of justice – A corrupt judge or city official who accepts a bribe, that is a gift given to him in secret to obtain undeserved favor, corrupts the ways of justice and society. v. 24 The eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth – A foolish man has his eyes on the world and seeks the luxuries of the world. The wise man sets his eyes upon wisdom and gaining knowledge of God. Proverbs 18 v. 1 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire – Relationships involve sacrifice and caring about another’s need. One who isolates himself from relationships will only be concerned about themselves and their own desires. v. 2 A fool has no delight in understanding – One who is foolish does not want to hear wisdom from others, instead, they only delight in sharing their own opinions. v. 6 A fool’s lips enter into contention – The words of a foolish person provoke controversy and contention among their peers because they do not think clearly before they speak. People who speak foolishly offend others for the wrong reasons. v. 8 talebearer – A talebearer was a person who spreads idle rumors or gossip. trifles – Trifles were a rich, sweet dessert like a fruit cake topped with jam and soaked in wine. Trifles are translated as choice morsels, dainty morsels and delicious morsels in other translations. v. 11 The rich man’s wealth is his strong city – A rich man believes his wealth will protect him from whatever storms of life come, but only God is a safe refuge (v. 10). v. 13 He who answers a matter before he hears it – Listening to another’s heart as well as their words is an important dynamic to interpersonal relationships. v. 19 A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city – Relationships take work and involve risks and struggles. Still, this is better then the unwise person who isolates themselves (v. 1).
"Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father." –Proverbs 17:6 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD." –Proverbs 18:22 Once we enter in Your family, Lord, and You begin to remake our hearts, the same love and grace that You have extended to us, may we extend to our families and other relationships. Remind us by Your Spirit, Lord, that we are to love those around us as we love You.